In our busy, noisy world, we often forget how important it is to listen carefully. We can forget to be an active listener when we go from person to person or from home to the office or to the next meeting or to the next person that needs something and then back home to our family. 

A few years ago, I was at a business meeting when a person a little older than I am, named Chris, came over to talk. I was engaged in multiple other conversations and was short on time but I could tell Chris had a story to tell and wanted someone to listen. As we sat down, I focused on being fully present and engaged.

Chris shared stories about youth, family and many of the challenges that were faced and then Chris opened about some of the points that were introduced earlier in our meeting. I began to listen attentively, nodding and making eye contact as I clarified the stronger points. When there was a pause, I asked open-ended questions to encourage Chris to share more. It was rewarding as Chris’ face lit up as the feeling of me hearing and understanding rang true.

As the evening went on, our conversations deepened. Chris’s concerns eased and the look on Chirs’s face turned from that earlier concern to a smile.

As I went home, after the meeting, I realized that Chris had much to say about the ideas that were expressed at the meeting and there were some positive and negative thoughts that Chris shared with me that were not introduced at the meeting. 

By actively listening to Chris, I was able to bring the points forward the following day on a conference call and everyone on the call was very receptive. Chris did not feel heard in the meeting the night before but, because of giving Chris a brief time of active listening, we were able to bring valid solutions forward.

How many other family members, friends and coworkers also need a few minutes for us to be active listeners?

Active listening transformed our interactions from a mere conversation to a meaningful connection. It taught me that sometimes, the greatest gift we can give each other is our undivided attention and, when needed, empathy.

Listening goes beyond just hearing words, it is about understanding feelings and building connections. Chris and I continue to talk often.

Active listening can involve many attributes and here are what I think are the top four:

1. Paying Attention: When we are actively listening, we give our full focus to the person speaking. No distractions, just us listening to their words as they share. Our involvement shows that we care about what they are saying.
2. Watch Their Body Language: Collaboration and communication are not only about words. Active listeners notice how someone looks, moves and expresses their thoughts. The nonverbal cues reveal a lot about their feelings.
3. Repeat and Reflect: Active listeners repeat what they have heard. It is like saying, “I get it!” By doing this, we show respect and create trust.
4. Create a Safe Space: Active listening means making the speaker feel comfortable. We encourage them to share openly and honestly. It is saying, “Your thoughts matter.”

The Why To Active Listening:

• Solve Conflicts: Active listeners help relieve frustration or stress in arguments. Listening opens the space for common ground and idea sharing.
• Cooperation: In families, or with a group of friends or at the office, active listening encourages creativity. When everyone feels heard, they are more open to sharing ideas.
• Empathy: Listening carefully improves understanding. It helps us collaborate and communicate to build stronger relationships.

We can use and practice active listening. It is more than just hearing words; it promotes a true connection with others and a better feeling of ourselves. 

If you, or someone you know, is encountering issues with a significant other, spouse, friends or at the office because active listening is not used or practiced, please call me at 303-362-8733 (303-Focused) or schedule time with me at https://www.Calendly.com/MarkEntrekin.

I coach, collaborate and speak to and with couples, individuals, parents, divorced parents, groups, associations, corporations and universities to develop new habits and sustainable, cost-saving, improvements as we resolve issues by creating and understanding viable solutions. 

Do you, or someone you know, schedule speaking events? Please let me know. I would be honored to speak at your next event and I also have an affiliate program.

I hope you will attend, and invite your friends to attend, my next live, 7-session, course on “Achieving Unity through the Power of Caring, Helping and Including Others.” The course begins on October 8, 2024. Please contact me for more information.

I am looking forward to talking with you today. Please use the communication channel that works best for you. I want to help you, and your relationships, grow forward! 

Email: [email protected]

Website: http://www.AchievingUnity.com/