Are you HOT?
Jul 27, 2024
Are you HOT?
What is HOT? What does HOT mean?
Yes, hot can always be the temperature around us but it can also be something else.
When I was growing up, I remember thinking about someone of the opposite gender being Hot! To me, that could mean I was attracted to them. I could mean they looked great and I might just be complimenting them or possibly want to meet them or talk to them further. Their appearance and/or attitude impressed me.
Today, I would like to talk about a different HOT.
As a Transformational Life Coach, and passionately involved in multiple organizations, I enjoy the opportunity to talk and share stories with many other people. One story came up this week as I was talking to a friend about his significant other on a trip out of the country.
This is a story about Honesty, Openness and Truth (HOT) and how they were not a priority to one of the partners in the relationship.
This situation can occur with either gender on either side of the equation. In this one story, which could happen either way, went like this:
My friend mentioned that his significant other and her daughter were traveling in another country and they were going out drinking and possibly dancing but she promised to call by 10:00 pm just to check in and let him know they were safe. Well, the time passed and my friend was not called so he sent a text message to her asking if they were OK but received no response.
He waited a while and then called her on her phone. She answered and he asked her if she knew what time it was. She said no and then started laughing. She had drank too much. He was told there were phone problems and she had to use her daughter's phone. Hmm, the phone worked when he called her.
How would you feel about this situation?
My first thought was, OK, that does happen. We “should” not drink too much but if it was a one-time occurrence, is it a major ordeal, even with two women in a different country drinking at a bar alone or with friends they met at the bar?
We hear the statistics and realize that the male gender is reported to have more drinking issues than the female gender but, again, let us leave the gender out of the equation and see if we can work toward a non-biased solution.
This kind of situation can bring up many questions. Where is the issue? Is the issue about forgetting to call? Is it drinking too much? Is it not caring about what time it was? Is it the phone that supposedly did not work that worked when he called? Is it a problem if it is a “one-time” issue?
When I asked these questions, it turned out that her lack of calling when she promised she would call was an ongoing issue. It turns out she went out a lot to see friends or family or someone and was promising to call when she would leave the restaurant or bar to let him know she was OK but the calls were not made or were also late.
He said that one time she was drinking with a guy friend, a company insurance agent, and then, after being at the restaurant with the agent for several hours, they went to a golf club for a while without her calling him or letting him know.
I was able to talk with both of them and found out the story he was telling me was true.
How would you feel about your significant other or spouse if this happened to you?
We might think that we are all honest, open and truthful, or want to be but, too many times, our beliefs or values can be based on our culture, our past, or our learnings from others. We hope not but there can be a “fudging” of the truth. Many of us enjoy a good piece of fudge but who enjoys being told something when the person talking is “fudging” on their honesty, openness or the truth?
How important are Honesty, Openness and Truth (HOT) in a relationship?
Let us think about those three terms for a second. We all have different learnings and opinions about some words and terminology. This is how I understand the three words:
-
Honesty is generally associated with not lying but it can also involve sincerity. People can be honest without being accurate if it comes from their emotions or within their heart. For example, someone might be honest about telling a story they heard but the points in the story may not be accurate about the truth or facts from the other person’s perspective.
a. Honesty is being ethical, fair and not cheating or lying.
-
Openness is the trait of not withholding information that could impact what is being said or stated. Some call openness a personality trait that involves being receptive to innovative ideas and experiences but, in this definition, it is about being transparent and forthcoming with all/any information that might impact what is stated.
a. Openness is about not holding back details that are essential to the meaning of a conversation or what is said or stated.
-
Truthful is the habit of telling the truth or saying only what is true. A truthful answer is straightforward and based on verifiable evidence, the facts, accurately representing reality.
a. Truth is knowing what is being told without reasonable doubt.
I believe we must learn to be HOT in absolutely every situation. We must be HOT with our spouse, significant other and everyone we care about. Be unto others as you want them to be with you.
We need to be the same with everyone. Yes, even when we are telling the story about that foot-long fish we caught that day when we were fishing alone and eating those “fudge” brownies!
Who knows, if we are always HOT with our significant other or spouse, we might be even more attractive to them. They might even look hotter than before and you might just be complimenting them or possibly wanting to meet with them or talk to them further, after that dinner together…their appearance, and attitude, will be even more impressive.
How is your relationship with your spouse or significant other and those you care about? Is it HOT?
If you, or someone you know, is encountering issues with a significant other, spouse, friends or at the office and you want to learn more about turning that fudge into something more solid and a better tomorrow, please call me at 303-362-8733 (303-Focused) or schedule time with me at https://www.Calendly.com/MarkEntrekin.
I coach, collaborate and speak to and with couples, individuals, parents, groups, associations, corporations and universities to develop new habits and sustainable, cost-saving, improvements as we resolve issues by creating and understanding viable solutions.
Do you, or someone you know, schedule speaking events? Please let me know. I would be honored to speak at your next event. I also have an affiliate program that will pay you, your favorite non-profit organization or someone you know, for scheduling an event.
I hope you will attend, and invite your friends to attend, my next live, 7-session, course on “Achieving Unity through the power of Caring, Helping and Including Others.” The course begins on October 8, 2024. Registration begins on September 3, 2024. Please contact me for more information.
I am looking forward to talking with you today. Please use the communication channel that works best for you. I want to help you, and your relationships, grow forward!
Email: [email protected]
Website: http://www.AchievingUnity.com/